ohh Taylor. your so confused lately. just when you think you have something figured out, something else comes up. your not going to fulleron this summer, but now other things are driving you mad, other topics confuse you. as soon as your over one, another comes and takes its place. as soon as your ok being single, talking with your neibor, and her obvious intrest floods you with feelings you thought where gone. you LOVE being back at church, working with people, helping out, ministering. but then you realize that your striggling. hard.
my sollace is here, sitting on my patio, with an apple flavored cigar, oversized headphones up all the way, typing out my feelings and thoughts.
this is my vacation.
sometimes i want to just be a different person, i get tired of living with myself, tired of my expressions, my phrases, my way of thinking. my bents, my quirks, my skills and my weaknesses. like a bad roomate, or that feeling when you spend to long with your best friend - you will always love them! but right now you just need to get away.
relient k comes to mind - you know ill always love you, but right now i just dont like you.
what am i doing? God can you change me? nothing spcific, just change me. mix it up, throw in some veriety! im getting bored of myself. maybe this just means im far to self centered that im focusing to much on me. when in reality its not about me, i should be the last person im concerned with! but as usual, thats not the case. as usual im first in my own life. not God, not others. its me again.
Taylor stop! put yourself where you belong. the back burner.
remember your meaning, your purpose, your objective. if something is not furthering the ultimate goal, if something is for selfish gain
you shouldn't be doing it.
God hold me accountable
let me be in the world, but not of this world
----------------
Now playing: Moby - In This World
