Blurry

everything around me is growing increasingly unclear.

promises made arent made anymore, dogmas in my life are no longer dogmas. people arent dependable, people are unpredictabler than usual. whats going on? whats changing.

• where do you lean when your castles turn to sand?
• what supports you when nothing does?
• who can i depend on when the most dependable people in my life ignore me?

when God seems distant, when feelings arent mutual, when best friends arent so best friendish.
what do i do?

pray? lean on the One who i KNOW can support me, who i know will listen, who i know will not ignore me?

the simple answer is yes. the not simple answer is how

I couldn't sleep last night
My ears were ringing in my head
Best friends with the boogey man
I may be better off here dead
I'm running on empty once again
Too tired for tears I dread
Sink deep into those magic dreams
While I blast off in my bed

Three hours later and I'm staring at the ceiling still
Xanax does nothing more than calm the sleeping thrill
Turning the pillows round and round to find the cold spot for my head
Ah, bless my only friend

And you know I've played it all in here
Where everyone hides their darkest shades of fears
And I threw my whole night down the drain
You know 'cause everyone says that I'm not the same
And everyone turns tricks for fickle fame

Everything’s so blurry
And everyone’s so fake
And everybody’s so empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I’ll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing
Imagine where you are
There’s oceans in between us
But that’s not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me

Everyone is changing
There’s noone left that’s real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
Cause I am lost without you

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you where to runaway

----------------
Listening to: Kings Of Convenience - Homesick