Hunger

I find fulfilment in life in 2 things right now.

1. Being in a relationship, having someone to pursue, think about, do things for...
2. Traveling, being out on my own exploring. (even around LA, just moving)

I know this is wrong... i need to find my fulfillment in God not in my passions. i need to make my passion God! then find fulfillment in that. but how? how do i stop finding my joy, my... i used it alot, but the best word really is fulfillment - in fleshly things, and find it all in Christ alone?

i lay in bed and think of travel. i plan my trips, i think through places. at work i think about the woman God has for me, how it will feel to have someone to share everything with. THESE things are where i feel happy, mature, where i feel like i can satisfy myself.

a friend gave me an amazing piece of wisdom just now

we dont allow ourselves to eat the main course because we are snacking all day

i desire God, but i dont let myself truly desire Him because im filling myself with other things... im snacking on chips, then im bummed when the steak arrives. and im not hungry for it.

i need to fast from the chips, stop being absorbed with travel, with my passions, and let myself truly hunger. let myself get desperate and find my fulfillment in Christ alone.